


The Hopes and Fears of All the Years

by unsentpromises



Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas fic, Contains some religious themes, M/M, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 06:58:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsentpromises/pseuds/unsentpromises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every Christmas they are all treated to the best holiday Tony Stark can manage to create for them. This year Steve makes it something of a mission to be sure Tony gets himself what he offers to them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hopes and Fears of All the Years

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on tumblr but thought I could put it here since there isn't nearly enough in the EMH section. I haven't actually watched EMH in awhile so I apologize for any out of character writing.

It's not the world's best kept secret but Tony Stark loves Christmas. It is after all the one time of year he can be generous and it's not quite so eccentric. So he loves it.

Or rather he loves it now. Once he was just a kid who didn't go home for the holidays or returned to an empty house (and emptier promises). For a long time he hated the season. Positively refused to celebrate it until he managed to grow up just a little more than he had been before. Or maybe it was that he'd finally let go of some lingering resentment that he held for the rest of the world to be happy each December.

Now with a mansion full of people to dote upon, Tony loves it. Has learned the happiness that comes from being able to spoil people.

He might even keep a list of things people talk about all year that they want. JARVIS does help him check if anyone has actually acquired said items. If he happens to get ahead of himself and buys them what they already have he just donates what he's bought instead so it doesn't go to waste. But if anyone mentions a pair of shoes or a book, brings up wanting to go somewhere special or have tickets to see some band Tony finds a way. Sometimes he buys the strangest little trinkets but it's rare that anyone actually is upset about his choices. Only when he gets a little too extravagant has he seen anyone not pleased (he can admit it might have been a little much to buy Pepper an island that one time but she had said she wanted time to herself somewhere warm).

Every year he buys Natasha a pair of tickets to the Russian performance of _The Nutcracker_. Every year she rolls her eyes at him and mouths off. But every year Tony knows she and Maria Hill make of night of it. Never once has she turned the tickets down. And every year he finds a little nutcracker sitting on his workbench somewhere around a week after she has her night out. They are beautiful pieces that Tony is about eighty-nine percent sure are actually made in Russia. He has a small collection now that he puts out on display at Christmas and it is only growing.

Clint gets a mix of silly things and practical things. He gets him a new VCR one year because there is a long story about a knot of cords that is impossible (an exaggeration). He buys him coffee mugs that are ridiculous that he always catches him using eventually, but he's positive the Black Widow on is his favorite which Natasha looks smug about. The purple clothes are more a joke at this point but Clint keeps wearing them. One year he buys him a comic, Tony knows more about how rare it is than he will ever admit, and Clint actually looks afraid to open the thing like he'll ruin it by touching the pages. The Hulk slippers he gets for Clint are something Bruce still rolls his eyes at but Clint likes to wear them when it's cold out, but he hates to wear socks. If Tony gets the most ostentatious Christmas sweater he's ever seen the day after Thanksgiving every year he doesn't say anything about it. But he wears them all.

Bruce is one of the harder ones to buy for. Hulk loves those figurines and Tony might have found out by trial and error little metal ones he makes himself get their own spot on a shelf. Tony starts using different types of metal, aiming for different colors and shaping ability. He might go a little overboard when one year he makes a Chinese dragon that he's not all that impressed with himself but Hulk puts in the center of all the others. Bruce gets loose leaf teas and spices for some of the food he likes to make. One year he even gets Bruce a return trip to India. When at first Bruce protests that it's too much and he's insulted that Tony is trying to buy his affection Tony gets a bit stiff before explaining he's a philanthropist. Tony isn't about to go to a foreign country and help the sick or the needy but he can write a check for someone else to do it. They don't always get along but Bruce apologizes when he realizes that Tony seems to understand that he can miss New Delhi or New York just the same. Bruce takes the ticket and comes back with one of the strongest blends of coffee Tony has ever tasted and loves. Bruce seems happier to have had some breathing room away from New York, which makes everyone a little happier. Hulk breaks things less each December and he hangs around to help Tony decorate things that go up too high. Tony in turn trusts Hulk with things that are delicate.

T'challa is not someone Tony always knows what to do about. He's a good guy Tony knows, but they don't exactly mesh or communicate that well. He is the most difficult person to shop for. T'challa might be from Wakanda, and Tony encourages him to go home for the holidays even if they have different holidays (but Tony knows what it's like to wait and have no one come), but he tries to include him. T'challa has a stocking to hang with everyone else's even if he isn't around for months to look at anything in it. At the same time Tony always worries about forcing things onto T'challa because he isn't the loudest of them (not that he doesn't let you know when he has no intention of putting up with you). He suspects the little trinkets he finds, largely while traveling on business or on random outings to places in the middle of no where, aren't what T'challa really appreciates. They aren't anything special though he scrounges up little clever puzzles or well crafted bobbles that might, might make the guy crack a smile (the mask makes it hard to tell). T'challa never seems to get too annoyed with him about Christmas, instead he seems to endure the antics with amusement like he would dealing with a child. The one year T'challa actually hands him a small album of candid photos of them all Tony is effectively speechless. Tony thinks he manages to say thank you but he's never sure if he says it or his lips just move. And maybe Tony has the thought that T'challa can appreciate having people, not a family but good people, to spend cherished time with is not to be wasted. Tony starts finding little black cat trinkets after the photo album, less as a joke and more as a sign he does think about the guy. 

Jan isn't too difficult to buy for surprisingly. He can go expensive without he being too upset about it. Tony has become notorious for finding things she likes from other designers and getting them behind her back on the sly. Jan lights up one year when she opens a box with a very nicely dyed scarf that he got from someone in Milan. She goes on about the color and grins at him like he did something better than buy her a piece of fabric. Another year he buys her a purse, that he is honestly worried she isn't going to like, because it's not quite her usual visual aesthetic. Tony is very worried once she stares at it for all of ten minutes then leaves the room in a rush. When she comes back with a sketch book and pencils and points at him before drawing like he's to blame, all the while grinning like a maniac. Tony will be forced to look at every new design idea she's had because of the purse but he thinks he kinda like the red on. In revenge, or in jest, Jan buys him Christmas ties (and a few others actually like for Thanksgiving or the Forth of July) and he loves them. She gets him a poinsettia tie-pin one year and he cackles in delight. Always she presses a kiss on his cheek every Christmas, what times doesn't matter, gives him a warm, small, delighted smile and a soft thanks. 

Thor is easy to buy for. Not because he doesn't know the value of anything but because he is fascinated with every asset of Midgardian culture. Tony gets him a variety of music from all decades to start and Thor takes a particular liking to _Thunderstruck_ by AC/DC which Tony is proud of. Movies are next, stemming from classics in black and white to horrible foreign films with subtitles that Thor shouts at constantly (because he disagrees with their choices most often or encouraging them in their pursuits) , to musicals (which he likes a lot) and finally to modern explosion filled action. They talk about some of the pop culture the movies inspire and Tony even explains a little about some of the actors when he's asked. The TV series happen and maybe aren't the best idea because he's seen Thor glued to his watching for a few. Books are one of Thor's favorites though. Tony finds old folklore books from other cultures which seem to be a big hit. Shakespeare is something else entirely. _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ makes him a bit melancholy; _Hamlet_ makes him stormy; _Othello_ makes him downright angry; the sonnets he rather likes. Thor confesses while the tales make him at times frustrated with the characters he finds the writing excellent, if amusing in it's subtext. One year Tony gives Thor a collection of tales relating to King Arthur and some of the others like Gawain. Thor says he finds these tales most fitting to be given to him by Tony. In return Tony is given small pieces of Thor's culture from books on folklore to one time a very golden dagger. While not sure what to make of the dagger Tony thanks him. The one year he brings him a cape, deep red and lined with white fur Tony is quite pleased and wears it outside when they have a snowball fight. He swears he can't even feel the snow that hits him when Clint shakes out branches over his head.

Hank enjoys the journals he gives him. Another year he manages to get him an afternoon with a botanist who has been studying the adaptations of a sub-species of stick bug they had discovered by accident. Hank had beamed at him for almost a week when he told him about it. Jan had been less pleased but glad he'd put in the effort. Hank normally aimed small with his gifts because he seemed to be aware he didn't always hit the mark right. Tony always thanked him no matter what he gave him, and one year he had tried to offer Tony an ant farm, but normally the odd paperweight he got form Hank ended up in his lab or office. But one year Hank got him an old vinyl of Christmas songs they had all listened to together. Tony still puts the record player out  in case they want to listen to it, particularly on Christmas mornings. Hank keeps on that theme and gets him Christmas music compilations. Wham's _Last Christmas_ is still probably one of the best ones.

Steve, Tony hates to admit, he impulse buys for. Some things just remind him of Steve and he buys them. Some are stupid and some don't make it even close to Christmas because Tony will cave and hand it over. Steve likes the other Avenger's paraphernalia. Tony might have bought him an entire small set of action figures even and Steve had found them pretty nifty. But Tony considers his best moment in gift giving concerning Steve to be an old radio he converted. It isn't just a standard radio. The thing takes up as much space as a plush arm chair does now. It still tunes into the radio stations which don't sound like they used to. But Tony gave it memory and connection abilities of it's own so Steve can play music, or even audio books through it. Tony had been trying to give him a little of what he'd lost. It was just a box in all truth but Steve had grinned and stroked his fingers over the carefully sanded and varnished wood. The group portrait Steve had given him, all the while saying it wasn't much, Tony hung in his workshop. It's over by the door when it will be safest and Tony sees it each time he leaves the shop. And another year Tony had gotten a coffee mug with Dum-E on it that Steve had made. It is the only mug Tony refuses to let anyone else use. Or the year Steve bought him the Iron Man mittens which he loves.

So it is no secret Tony Stark enjoys Christmas now.

No one is surprised when Tony starts decorating on his own, planning and plotting with the help of JARVIS to give him early visuals. They are just projections but Tony likes to work out details before he really goes to town, hanging garland and bows. 

Yet surprisingly he never minds when someone wants to help. They can give suggestions or just hold a box of ornaments for him. Tony never turns anyone down though he hesitates sometimes when he thinks someone is getting a little sick of his Christmas crazy. 

And Tony takes it seriously. The first time most of them had woken up Christmas morning and seen everything laid out it was like something out of a Christmas special. The lights and smell of evergreen. Bows and ornaments shining in the light. The pile of wrapped packages and stockings hanging with familiar names. If they had been younger it would have seemed like magic everything that was put together. Because the very first time Tony had done it he'd only done one room and he'd done it in just one night. The only thing they'd seen come in early had been the giant pine tree. They'd all frozen, because Tony had had JARVIS wake them all up and come down, staring like children surprised Santa had come during the night without their knowing. And Tony had been sitting with a cap on his head and looking almost casual. Christmas was one of the few days a year Tony was up early, come hell or high water. 

He's less secretive now and he slowly makes his way through the house. 

Jan usually helps. More with decorating the tree and garland than going anywhere near the lights. The tangle of lights is usually all Tony though Steve offers too. He's more than happy to handle things. Hulk seems to like hanging the copious number of gold ceramic ornaments that go in the entrance hall. Tony just tells him to have at it each year. Clint is in charge of putting up a few hooks in high places for them but no one ever sees him do it.

The stockings are all put up by Tony each year and it looks like they get new ones every few. Tony says Jan is responsible for the redesigns on those. 

Thor like to handle the tree. Or likes to pick it. Tony gives him some guide lines, which usually are a simple as make sure it will fit through the door. Thor steadies it and helps to decorate it. Tony always invites them to bring their own ornaments to put them on if they want. It's made for some very interesting additions. A small version of Steve's shield, a bumble bee, a tiny Mjolnir, and a little Iron Man. The tree is usually dominated by the decorations Tony has though. Steve can appreciate it though the final picture it makes looks unreal. Sometimes he wonders if he doesn't sleep through the day each year and dream about it instead. 

This year is no different. The mansion manages to transform like it always has. Steve likes to think it makes the place a little more cozy. He's taken to drawing the rooms because they are such a vivid image of color and light when the sun has gone down. He's working on another at the moment in colored pencil, going slowly to capture the warmth in the room as best he can. 

Music is playing and it's getting later. There is next to no one up and about even to Steve's ears. But he can hear someone shuffle into the room.

Tony looks tired, his eyes aren't even fully open but he makes his way over to the sofa and sits himself down on the end opposite of Steve. He has more pronounced bags under his eyes than usual. His hair is a little mused from running his hands through it too much. Tony looks like he's about a few minutes shy of falling asleep where he is. Steve feels guilty since obviously he's always got more than enough work to do and this time of year he's putting in so much effort for them all. Somehow he never feels like he gives enough back to Tony, especially around Christmas time.

So in his own thoughts Steve has stopped his pencil against paper. He almost thinks Tony has fallen asleep when he hears him again, singing with the music. It's not something snappy or catchy, nothing with a lot of force to it. It's just a very nice, soft version of _O Little Town of Bethlehem_. Last he knew Tony wasn't exactly a man of faith but he appears to know the words.

"O little town of Bethlehem,  
How still we see thee light  
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep  
The silent stars go by.  
Yet in thy dark streets shineth,  
The everlasting light.  
The hopes and fears of all the years  
Are met in thee tonight."

The words are soft and reflect how tired Tony is. Perhaps that makes them seem unguarded to Steve but looking over at Tony all he can think is how calm it sounds. He's singing with his eyes closed. Steve is silent as he listens, pencil lowering and sketchbook coming to rest in his lap. 

Steve can practically feel a tranquility drifting over the room like a familiar blanket. 

Tony makes it through the entire song but the words grow softer and softer as he continues. Steve is glad he can make it all out because it's such a peaceful feelings. Were Tony more awake he'd thank him. Instead he lets him rest his head back against the plush of the sofa, watching his body go lax. 

Swallowing, feeling a little humbled Steve thinks he needs to make certain to do something special this year for Tony.

Afraid to move he stays put, maybe watching Tony sleep. He doesn't mean to do it to be strange but that peaceful feeling is still there. The quiet music in the air hasn't ruined it. And the way Tony is practically slumped into the cushions is strangely vulnerable as well, trusting and so human. Something in Steve's chest feels warm and curls against his breast with satisfaction. 

The warmth spreads and before he knows it his own eyes drift closed as he can hear _O Silent Night_ beginning,

Sometime later Jan wakes him up when she is adjusting a blanket someone had put over them both. Steve starts groggily and looks around, confused where he is for a moment. His head feels fuzzy but he's warm and strangely comfortable. There is something warm against his side and he pulls it closer against his side. 

Everything feels quiet and still around him. 

Until something moves against his side and he looks down to see a dark head of hair. It's messy and looks a little chaotic given the way it's sticking, obviously having some help staying put. A warm puff of air against his shoulder makes him shiver, surprised.

When he looks up, a little more awake Jan is smiling at him. She glances down at what Steve realizes then is Tony, fast asleep.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you."

"Time...is it?" He asks. His words feel clumsy and he thinks he might slur just a tiny bit.

"It's almost six." Jan looks a bit sheepish. "Might want to both get to a bed if you want more sleep."

Steve nods. "Thank you." He looks down at Tony and thinks he'll get up, but Tony could use the rest. Considering it he looks up at Jan. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Anything you need."

"Get the doors for me so I can make sure Tony gets some more rest?" And he's not sure why he thinks she might turn him down now.

Instead she looks like she approves of that. "Of course. He could use it."

Steve doesn't agree aloud. Instead he works on gently as he can prying Tony off of him then keeping him tucked in the blanket to carry him to bed. Tony doesn't weigh much, probably not as much as he should even.

Tony doesn't wake, just grumbles and adjusts, curling against Steve and face half hidden by the blanket seemingly content. If that makes Steve have to look ahead and smother a burst of affection he doesn't say so. Instead he just lays Tony down in his own bed to sleep. 

Steve doesn't let himself look back. He does thank Jan for her help though. She pats his arm lightly before going on her way.

It's that morning Steve brings up something to the whole team.

"I want us all to do something together for Tony this year."

They stare at him, though that's mostly Clint who is still working his way through his second cup of coffee. Natasha considers it before she nods. Thor is grinning. Jan looks possibly more happy about the idea than Thor is.

"What did you have in mind? I mean it's not like he's the easiest guy to surprise." Jan admits, because Tony is slightly notoriously difficult to buy for.

Thor nods. "Anthony is indeed a man of great wealth who perhaps would not value something of monetary value so much as other gifts we might impart upon him."

Steve thinks that's probably an excellent point. "That's good thinking Thor."

Thor nods to that, pleased.

T'challa of all people speaks up. "Perhaps we should consult with Miss Potts? She seems to have the best understanding of Tony Stark."

Steve frankly feels silly he didn't think of it himself. "I think we have a start to our plan."

Pepper as it turns out is surprised when they ask her. Though that might be in part due to the small mob of superheroes in her office that made an appointment. She might stare at them before she gives them all a smile.

"I think Tony would appreciate your company more than anything." And it's true but she doesn't want to quite spell out how much having them around has changed Tony's attitude about Christmas. "He likes to spoil people he cares about."

And maybe they all know but don't think about that too deeply.

Clint just rolls his eyes though he stands a little straighter then before.

"We appreciate it, but Tony does so much to try and make our Christmas something special. We'd like to do the same." Steve says hoping he's making their case obvious.

Pepper seems to consider that before nodding. "Then...do something you'd want to do and include him. Something you consider essential to Christmas or this kind of season. Invite him."

They all exchanged looks but nodded to Pepper. Steve was sure to thank her on the way for the advice. 

But that still left them all to decide what to do.

Time was running out fast, Christmas was approaching quickly.

Thor had been conferring with Tony and dragged Bruce into it, then Clint. They were planning so kind of feast as Thor said would be worthy of a celebration in Asgard for Odin himself. Bruce offered to help cook and show them some nice alternatives to egg nog with a bit more flavor. 

Clint as it turned out ended up dragging Tony to something with kids that Tony didn't really talk about later. When asked Clint explained they'd gone to fulfill some kids Christmas wishes just by showing up. There were pictures of Tony being positively mobbed by kids, looking uncertain. But the longer the pictures went on the less uncertain he was. Smiles started to appear and soon there were posed group picture of Tony and the kids. The last one positively made Steve proud though. Tony under a dog pile of kids who all looked determined to prove they loved him.

Natasha managed to produce a third ticket for _The Nutcracker_ somehow. Tony was dragged out after being all put together, Natasha willingly on one arm. While she didn't come back with pictures Tony had looked relaxed and bright the next morning, adding another wooden nutcracker to the band of them he already had. 

Hulk brought Tony somewhere where there was reindeer. Or that was what Tony said they were. The things didn't seem to be afraid of Hulk. They'd come over and let themselves be pet. Hulk had also insisted they bring carrots. Hulk also might have insisted on Tony bringing a Santa hat. The few selfies Tony took were sort of priceless. 

Steve did not know where Jan took Tony but when they came back they were both still snickering. Their clothes were a little rumpled but Jan was hanging onto Tony's arm, both looking thick as thieves. It was nice but he wondered if they'd been causing a little trouble. Cheeks a bit pink, they were happy so Steve decided it might be worth it not to know. But a few hours later he might have ended up seeing a video on the internet of two very familiar people playing in a large toy store. It explained it and Steve might have saved the video to watch again later. There was nothing quite like the laughter of friends to raise the spirits.

He was embarrassed about it but Steve just couldn't come up with something that seemed to fit what Pepper had asked of them. At least not that he thought Tony might enjoy. Everyone else had been doing so well so far. Steve felt like he was the weak link.

It was Christmas Eve and he still hadn't managed to get the time with Tony. Every time he tried something seemed to come up. Be it a call about Stark Industries or some call to assemble. It was frustrating but at this point Steve was really thinking it might be best if he just stopped giving it a try with what options he could come up with. Nothing felt...right.

Steve had one last idea and he decided it was worth it to try. He'd never walked away from a fight. So he went to find Tony.

It didn't take long he was in taking a chance to relax for a change. Or was relaxed as Tony ever managed to get while he was awake.

"Tony, would you have a minute?"

Lifting his head up Tony nodding. "Sure. What can I help you with?"

Why did it feel so hard to ask? Steve cleared his throat. "I was wondering if you'd...maybe like to accompany me to the mass tonight? I mean I used to go back in the day, before the war. With well my mother mostly." It was a personal thing for Steve. 

Tony looked surprised and maybe a little apprehensive.

"I don't know if I'd be welcome you know."

Steve shook his head. "If there's any day anyone should be welcome it would be Christmas." That he was confident of.

"Look, I'm not exactly a man of faith. Not like that. I've never been to one before." He might have learned hymns in boarding school because they were expected to but that was as far as he'd ever gotten to anything resembling religion. 

"If you don't want to it's fine, but Tony if you think you wouldn't be welcome then you've been listening to the wrong people. It's not about the lip service or even being a member of the church. Mass on Christmas Eve is about celebrating the good will and wish for peace in all mankind. it's the beginning to a day we're meant to observe an example of respect and kindness upon our fellow man." Steve knew religion was stickier today than it used to be, but he knew what faith was. "It is a day I think even God would be convinced to visit great mercy upon humanity. Becoming a father and all."

Tony just sort of stared at him for a long minute. "...do I dress up?"

Steve nodded. "Yes, you should dress nicely. Nothing too expensive though. And make sure it's something warm."

"I can do that..." Or Tony thought he could. 

"Then we'll have to leave at around eleven."

"Eleven? Isn't that sort of late?"

"Traditional mass would be at midnight." Steve couldn't help but to be a little amused. "Maybe take a nap?"

It's been awhile since Steve's gone to a midnight mass. He goes fairly regularly when his schedule allows but it doesn't always. There are still memories of going with his mother to them, being so excited to be allowed to go, huddling close and listening to the mass in latin. It hadn't made any sense then, but as he'd gotten older he had learned to follow it. 

He's nervous about taking Tony. Why he'd invited him to do this he doesn't know. Tony isn't a man of religion by any means. But Pepper has said personal and it was for Steve. He had believed what he'd told Tony, every word of it. If there was ever a day any man should be welcome into a house of God it was certainly then. 

Dressing himself in a suit he fidgeted a little more than was necessary. He was out and waiting for Tony early. Clint spotted him and eyed him a little but didn't ask. 

Tony was a little early himself, probably thinking he should be punctual. He wasn't in a suit but he was in a collared shirt and sweater and some nice slacks. It would be fine like that. He'd rather Tony was warm and didn't catch a cold than worry about upsetting someone's sensibilities. 

The trip there is surprisingly quiet. They get to the church, air cold outside and everyone is glad to get out of it. They shuffle in and Steve leads Tony to a seat, planning to stand and leave an seat open for someone else instead. Tony gives him a look like he isn't surprised about that. People don't pay them much mind. Most don't know Steve Rogers and no one looks twice at Tony who is dressed down. Steve wonders if that wasn't a conscious choice to avoid any nonsense.

The church itself ends up packed with people. Steve stands besides the pew off to the side and not obstructing the main aisle. Tony looks around at all the people, surprised by the volume.

"Is this normal?"

"Has been as long as I've known. Not everyone has the time or patience to spare to come to mass. So they try to make up for it by coming on nights like tonight." Sometimes they do it for the wrong reasons, Steve has learned. But that's between them and God.

Eventually Tony stands up with him instead of keeping his seat to give it to someone else. Steve just hides his amusement about that. Tony can accuse him of being a boy scout but he doesn't seem to notice he's just as guilty. 

So instead they stand side by side by one of the walls, stained glass windows above their backs with depictions of angels. Steve finds he is glad he asked him along. He normally comes alone and he hadn't realized how lonely a feeling that is until he brought someone with him.

The pair of them share the one candle. Steve has Tony hold it and he doesn't argue.

The mass is in Latin though someone repeats everything in English after. Tony pays more attention than Steve anticipated he would, ever curious. Steve swallows a tight feeling away from his throat. It might have been affection or admiration. He's not positive but now isn't the best time for that.

Tony doesn't know when to cross himself or what to say in rely to the words of the mass. Tony does manage just fine when they exchange blessings of peace to the people around them. They shake hands with people they will never likely see again. With how quiet and still Tony is he thinks beside him Steve thinks he understands what he meant now. How tonight people allow themselves to be consumed in something that outreaches them as individuals. If you are open to it. Because Tony doesn't look like he wants to scoff or comment on anything. Instead his eyes travel over the people and his shoulders draw closer as the small choir sings a hymn. Steve rests his hand on Tony's back lightly at that.

They help a few people light their candle once theirs is alight. 

Tony even joins in when the entire congregation is invited to sing The First Noel. Steve feels strangely light. He sings along as well though he doesn't sing too loudly, wanting to hear Tony who can sing. He might not be Nat King Cole but Tony knows how to let his voice carry. 

When it comes time for them all to leave they hang back to let others leave to make more room to leave. Steve is slightly worried again now Tony has taken it all.

"I hope you didn't mind."

"No." Tony shakes his head and looks pensive. People are shuffling around them on their way out, pews emptying slowly. "It was...something."

Something doesn't sound bad.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Tony gives him a strange kind of smile. It's uncertain and looks over all the people again. "I can see why people might want to do this. Not that I'm about to start coming every Sunday."

Steve smiles. "Told you you'd be welcome."

And Tony doesn't seem to have anything to say to that.

Like the rest they make their way outside. The air is just as cold as it was before, a mist of breath rising from everyone as they travel. The air is rather crisp for New York, which is welcome. There are no visible stars above them only the lights of the city which are stars of their own. It's late enough there is more stillness than usual. Perhaps it is some kind of spell that has overtaken the world, or just a pocket of it. Steve thinks perhaps he's being a little too dramatic but that is how it feels to him.

They had walked, it wasn't far, and they are walking back. Tony is hunched up a little in his jacket, nose already beginning to turn a stinging red from the cold. There is color up on his cheeks as well that Steve can see. When he reaches up to rub at his nose to warm it Steve spots his Iron Man mittens.

Almost to the mansion Steve finds himself blurting out, "Thank you."

"For what?" Tony might sound just a little beside himself.

"For going with me. It's been...a long while since anyone has. Forgotten it is different when you aren't alone." Steve might be looking down, listening to the sound of their steps on the sidewalk.

Tony's steps stop and he is giving Steve a very intense look. When Steve looks up to meet it he thinks his heart breaks a little. Because what he sees is someone who understands what it means to be alone, someone who is familiar with it.

"Any time." Tony says. And Steve believes him.

Both of them stopped on the sidewalk looking at one another, they slowly smile as the tension slowly bleeds away. Steve is about to prompt them on home again when he spots it. Looking up he blinks at the light veils of snow that is beginning. It doesn't move that quickly and it is more spread out to begin.

"Snow." Tony is looking up as well and watching it fall.

The earlier tightness in his throat is back. Steve just watches Tony for a long moment the snow begins to dot his hair and coat. His chest feels warm but tight at the contrast of white against his dark hair. There is a certain light in Tony's eyes to see the snow. After all Tony loves Christmas and snow is in the recipe for a good Christmas for anyone this far northeast in the states. But Steve doesn't think that has too much to do with it when he fights the desire to pull Tony into a hug.Yet he can't bring himself either to tell him to get moving so they can get home and warm again. Instead he just observes, aware of the pinched feeling in his chest. Tony's face stretches into an easy, small smile as he watches the snow pick up.

A spell over the world indeed, Steve thinks to himself.

If he's honest with himself he doesn't just want to hug Tony. Especially in this moment he wants to kiss him. Nothing too harsh, no. Something as soft as the falling snow. 

Tony makes him feel at peace somehow. So he resists. 

After a few tries he manages to pull the words out of himself to get them on their way. "We should get home before you catch a cold Tony." Even if he would like to stay out here with him, offer to keep him warm instead so they could watch the snow.

Looking back down Tony nods. "Yeah. Looks like a white Christmas this year." And he sounds so pleased about it.

"Yeah it does."

They don't really have much in the way of snow on them even before they get inside. It all melts before they get too far and they take off their outerwear to not track any of the water further in. Steve offers to take Tony's coat and hang it up. Tony doesn't resist and thanks him.

At this hour the house is still and quiet. No other avengers seem to be wandering about. It's still and quiet as it is outside. Snow can be seen falling outside through the windows.

"Hey Steve."

"Yeah Tony?"

Tony looks hesitant but not unhappy, which loosens something in Steve's chest. "Can you give me a hand?"

He doesn't know with what but he nods because he isn't likely going to turn him down no matter what it is. "Anytime. What should I do?"

And Tony is grinning, gesturing for Steve to follow. It's strange to see him making the effort to be quiet but when he leads Steve to one of the storage closest that turns out to have gifts stashed inside he understands much better. Tony really does like to spoil people, like Pepper mentioned. There is an ridiculous number of gifts in here with all their names on them. 

True to his word Steve helps him to bring them downstairs and sets them up under the tree. Idly he thinks it makes him feel a little like one of Santa's elves to be in on this year. Normally Tony does this alone every Christmas Eve.

Tony fiddles with them and adds smaller things to the stockings, fixing the ones that will hang right when filled instead of sagging under the weight. He just wants things to be perfect.

Steve can see him eyeing the stocking for Rhodey and he debates on asking. "Heard from him at all since they left?"

Tony starts almost like he's forgotten he wasn't alone. "Yeah. He and Carol are enjoying the little get away. I've been sending them some pictures though of the mansion."

"I'm sure they miss it even if they are enjoying themselves."

"I just told them they need to wait to get any presents until after." And Tony misses them, even if he doesn't want to admit to it.

Instead of calling him on it Steve thinks about it. "How about tomorrow morning we talk everyone into a group picture to send to them?"

"After coffee I hope."

Steve laughs, though he keeps it quiet somehow afraid to ruin something by being too loud. "Yes. After coffee."

"We should. And not just for them. Commemorate the occasion." Tony waves a hand at the words like it will take something away from it, will make it stop meaning that Tony wants to do this.

"It would be nice to have for all of us. I'd like it." Steve can't help but be honest about it.

"...yeah me too." The admission is hushed but Steve still hears it and smile.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

It takes a little time to get everything down from where Tony has stored it away. He apparently takes hiding these things seriously because they're scattered around and some are in hidden compartments Steve has never seen before. There are en empty decoy boxes. Which when Tony explains they live with two expert spies half the time you need to take these kind of precautions.

By nearly quarter past two they have everything settled as they want it. Steve gets to see the early pre-dawn version of the scene he walks into every Christmas morning. He feels a certain bit of pride to have helped create it this year instead of just being an observer.

Both of them are a little too awake to sleep so they sit together and look over everything.

"We appreciate it you know. All the work you put into this." Steve wonders if he should have said that the way Tony tenses. Tony never has been too easily accepting of real gratitude. He just never seems to know what to do with it.

Tony doesn't say anything to that, just nods. 

And Steve feels guilty he's ruined the entire air of the evening after they'd gone to mass. But Tony does relax again slowly. JARVIS must decide to try and give them a hand because music begins to play at the low volume. It's just enough to fill the empty quiet. 

It also reminds Steve of the night Tony fell asleep out here after hearing him sing. Then the early morning when he'd put Tony to bed as well. He wouldn't mind if that happened again but he does worry perhaps tonight he might not have the same restraint he'd had before. Not that he'd do anything nefarious, but it seems underhanded if he can't give Tony affection just the same awake or asleep. 

"I'm going to head up to bed Steve." Tony is rising to his feet and looking back at him.

"That's probably a good idea." Because it is late and tomorrow is going to be full. He's standing and watching Tony start to leave ahead of him.

Tony pauses in the door and looks back at him. "Merry Christmas." He says instead of goodnight, though to be fair it is technically the day of now.

Steve just smiles. "Merry Christmas, Tony." He heads off to bed himself after taking one more look around the room.

No one in the mansion really sleeps in on Christmas. JARVIS will always summon them all down and by now they are all used to it. Tony has told them they can tell JARVIS not to, but they haven't yet. So Steve goes down and bumps into Clint on his way down. He can hear the beginnings of their celebration beginning. Thor is a little on the loud side when he's excited.

Unlike the others though Steve is up and dressed instead of in a robe and pajamas, like say Clint. Someone had left him a sweater last night on his bed. It's red and green, in a few shades, with some white snow flakes and reindeer silhouettes in the pattern. He wears it with a pair of jeans this morning.

Tony is sitting with a cup of coffee listening to Thor go on about seeing a local version of The Nutcracker a few nights ago with Jane Foster. Thor is obviously pleased with how the night went and even seems downright shy when Tony asks how he parted way with Jane.

"Don't ask anyone to kiss and tell Tony." Steve says but he's not being too admonishing about it. Instead he's getting a mug out for himself and Hawkeye. It's when he's passing off the mug to Clint he notices something. He and Tony are wearing identical sweaters.

Tony hasn't said anything about it though he is listening to Thor at the moment so he might not have caught on just yet. 

"I'm not asking him to share what he doesn't want to but I can encourage the guy. So?"

"When we parted ways she wished me a Merry Christmas and offered me a warm embrace." Thor admits and for as tame as it is he seems very pleased.

"Good for you big buy." Is all Tony says about it.

And then Tony is choking on his coffee. Alarmed they all turn to see if he's okay. He's fine coughing into a fist and staring at Steve. He's seen the matching sweaters now. 

"Alright there Iron Man?" Hawkeye asks. He sounds like a child who has done something they know is considered misbehaving. 

"Yeah. Just...went down wrong."

And then they're all getting swept up in getting something on the table to eat. Steve helps with some cooking and Jan comes in at another point with a few boxes of pastries. Hank has a few of them too for her. There is coffee all around, and a little hot chocolate as well. The room is full of conversation and noise, suggestions and good natured arguments about the best way to make hot chocolate. 

In the end they're all full, warm, and content. 

Steve has even managed to convince Tony to have a mug of hot chocolate instead of coffee, a peppermint stick to stir it with. 

Then they're all beginning to be corralled into the living room. It's time for presents. Per usual Tony has managed to don a Santa hat, but this year he offers Steve a pair of felt antlers with a grin.

Packages are passed around and paper ends up all over the floor. Responses to gifts range from flat out squealing to emotional silence. There is music playing in the background and occasionally they will sing bits of it or dance (though that's mostly for _Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree_ ). 

They're happy. All of them.

When Steve brings up a group photo everyone agrees it's not a bad idea. However, something he didn't expect happens. As they all start to group together by the tree in the mess of ribbons and wrapping paper on the floor, he catches Jan's eye. Jan grabs his arm and tugs him down enough to whisper enough into his ear. Steve grins and nods his agreement to the idea. 

Innocently he suggests they all get closer so they can have a better picture. Tony doesn't argue and asks JARVIS to take it for them. 

In the end they take more than one.

The very first one they do a proper countdown for so everyone will be smiling and not blinking when it's taken. Steve is the first to go ahead with it but he puts his arms around Tony. Jan follows soon after on the opposite side. Thor doesn't hesitate to squeeze them both enough that Tony and Jan's feet leave the ground. Hulk is on the outside and pulls them all in, including T'challa and Clint why might have taken just a little more space. It's a group hug photo with Tony in the middle looking comically surprised.

The second one, the one they send to Rhodey and Carol, Tony is laughing. 

When they all let go Tony turns on Steve. "You are sneaky. Captain America shouldn't be sneaky."

Still in the happy bubble of the moment Steve just grins at him. "Maybe not, but Steve Rogers is just fine with it."

When a few people grumble about wanting more hot chocolate Steve doesn't think twice about going. He's a little surprised that Tony is going with him offering a hand. He doesn't protest though.

Then rather suddenly he finds himself with an armful of Tony Stark. They're in the door and Tony has stumbled. Without thinking he'd reached to be sure he didn't go too far toward the floor. It leaves them in an interesting position. Tony is holding onto his arm and Steve is leaning forward. Tony's eyes dart up and he looks like he's still catching up with everything. Steve doesn't let himself think too much about the hands still holding onto his forearms, one of his own hands cupping one to Tony's elbows for support.

There is a dull thunk of something hitting wood. Both look up and stare.

One of T'challa's throwing knives is buried in the wood and there is mistletoe hanging from it.

"I believe there is a tradition." T'challa says, sounding like he isn't responsible for the setup.

"Here, here!" Thor calls, positively radiating his approval.

"Lay one on him Cap." Clint calls, even if it earns him and elbow to the ribs from Natasha.

Hulk grunts. "Can't not do it."

Steve can feel his neck and face warming quickly. He hasn't let go of Tony. Tony hasn't let go of him either. He dares to look down at Tony and is surprised to notice some color to his face. Tony looks quite nervous.

Up until the song changes over to _Last Christmas_ by Wham. Then he doesn't look as bad, just a look to the ceiling.

"Very funny JARVIS."

"I do try to keep the spirit, sir."

And Steve laughs, a little out of helpless nervousness. His stomach is filled with butterflies. The song really is not helping at all.

"Would you...mind?" Steve asks, because he can't just take something like that.

The hands on his arms twitch and Tony looks at him wide-eyed. "..no."

While he'd like to smile his nerves don't quite let him. So instead Steve leans down. He thinks of the kind of kiss he'd wanted to give Tony last night in the snow. It shouldn't be this serious, not just for being under mistletoe but he's wanted to do this. It's soft but he doesn't rush, he doesn't want to rush. Tony's hands tighten on his arms and he leans in closer. When Tony starts to respond in ernest, making something more than the almost reverent, light touch Steve had started he doesn't think he'd want anything else. 

Tony leans into him and he can feel the warmth of him. Steve uses the hand on Tony's elbow to pull him closer. Hands that were on his forearms  move up to his biceps and squeeze as they draw even closer. 

It's nothing obscene but it's more intimate than Steve expected it would be. 

When they pull apart Steve realizes he's short of breath and so is Tony. The way Tony's eyes are bright and happy makes it impossible for him to ignore the urge to lean down enough to press their foreheads together. They work on catching their breath looking back at one another.

If either of them were thinking clearly they'd be surprised at the lack of teasing or catcalls for their kiss. Instead their friends are quiet and they might be taking pictures.

Tony let's out a helpless kind of laugh that makes Steve squeeze him gently.

"You are a hard man to buy a gift for you know." It starts them out of their moment when Clint says it.

Looking up in sync they look at all their friends who look different types of pleased. Thor looks ready to launch into some kind of congratulatory speech but refrains. Jan is positively bouncing on the spot. Clint looks like he wants to rib them. Hank looks mildly uncomfortable but glad at the same time. Natasha is smirking at them. Hulk is standing back with his arms crossed over his chest, looking accomplished.

"I'm not that bad..." Tony mutters. "Wait."

T'challa raises a hand. "We thought this would be the best we could offer to the both of you."

Tony looks up at Steve confused. "Both of us?"

"You've both been looking at each other like you wanted to do that for...awhile." Jan sounds a little exasperated but happy. "So we might have decided to meddle. A tiny bit."

"It does us all good to see you both truly sharing such affections." Thor adds with Jan.

Steve is distinctly embarrassed. "I guess...I was a little obvious."

"You...really?" And Tony sounds a little scared. Steve wants to find who is responsible for that, but he can't. Instead he can be here instead.

Steve nods, giving him a smile that he hopes reflects just how much he means it. "Really."

Tony looks down to his feet and swallows. "Oh."

The air is a little tense. 

"I mean if you'll have me Tony." And it's Steve's turn to be a little scared.

Tony's head comes up whip quick and looks at Steve like he's said something entirely ridiculous. "Of course I will."

It's too much to resist so Steve doesn't this time. He leans in and kisses Tony again. Tony gasps, maybe surprised, and kisses him back. This time there is a few whistles or comment from the rest of the avengers, but they both ignore it. 

This time when the kiss ends Jan is the one to speak up first.

"We still have more presents to open." 

Clint steals the Santa hat from Tony's head and puts it on his own. "Both of you sit down."

Steve doesn't argue, just looks at Tony.

"Oh fine." Tony grumbles but when he leads the way to the sofa to sit, he is pretty quick to settle against Steve's side. Steve just reaches a hand over and curls it around Tony's lightly. Tony never protests.

There are quite a few pictures of them sitting together in their matching sweaters like that. A few of them kissing. A few of them passing around everyone's gifts. 

It's the first Christmas Steve is satisfied he has given back to Tony as much as he deserves.


End file.
